It has been 2 weeks since I join Sakae Sushi...
But I'm still kind of screw up...
Scolded by Manager...
Upset my colleagues...
Still not familiar with the menu...
Sometimes, I feel really stressful about this job is that, you have to memorise the menu with the descriptions so as to explain it to the customers...
Another thing is, I don't mind facing the customers' 'face', I do mind looking at my colleagues' 'face' and their attitude towards...
People who understand me will know that I'm soft and sensitive by heart...
Once anythings come towards me, you won't see me smiling for the rest of the day already...
Just like today, Yan Suan 'confronted' me again for my mistake...
I know I'm very careless...
It has been 2 weeks and I couldn't afford to gives excuses or make any mistakes...
But I'm still a human here with tolerance...
I had once confessed to Irene(Manager) before, of all colleagues, Yan Suan is the only colleague whom I really cannot take it...
Although in general, almost all female colleague...
Yan Suan to me, is just arrogant...
I had also asked Irene about changing of location...
She advised me to stay...
Now, I felt kind of tired...
Feel like quiting this job and look for another one...

Raymond, Qin Shu, today is both of your last day...
Both of you are those best senior colleagues I've ever had...
It's really such a pity that you both are leaving for NS...
Especially the both of you, have been very patient towards me...
I know, on my 3rd day of work...
I got complained by customers...
I really want to thank Raymond for the console...
As I almost cried in front of Irene...
For Qin Shu, thanks for all the teaching...
You have really been very patient to all my 'nonsense'...
I want to wish the both of you, enjoy your NS, hope we can meet again!

Another Best-Pal-Colleague is Zack...
Both of us are still trainee for lots of stuffs...
And everytime, both of us will leave our work place together...
And always feeling very happy chatting with you...
And you're the youngest of us all...
Sometimes, I just find you quite an interesting/tough guy...
You're schooling and working at the same time...
And you can cope with your work so well...
Somehow, you're the one who can listen to my problems and chat about it...
And I really thank you...

Somehow, I'm still considering another job...
Better environment, an environment that is not so stressful...
But thinking back...
This job is being asked by my father...
And I'm working for my survival for my next semester...
And this is one of the highest pay job which I can find...
I can't afford to let my parents or myself down because of certain mistakes...
I've got lots of things to learn...
Though stressful, stomach is the cause for what I'm doing now...
I'll try my really best to memorise the menu asap and won't let myself down anymore...
がんばります！！！

Got to go le...bye...

It was like a heavy news to me...
One of my favourite BoyBand, Dong Bang Shin Ki(DBSK) had just got disbanded...
Due to the lawsuit case with SM Company...
It was such a total waste of talent...
To be truthful, I started to like this boyband like last month(?)...
And in only just a few weeks, it got disbanded just like that...
I've been listening to their music and my interest of learning Korean is also because of them...
I'm not gay, please...haha...
Just that seriously, I like their music really, really lot...
Now they're disbanded, it's just a total waste...

Blame who? The SM Company of course...
I really pity their story...
Work so hard and yet...
Come to think of it, it's better...
As their fans, we want them to be happy...
Creating their style of music, and not music creating them...
Which is just wrong...
I'll still continue to listen to their music...
I'll still pursue my interest of learning korean...
I'll still watch their past dramas...
Sometimes, I'll tend to feel disappointed, but as long as they're happy, as their fans, I'll happy too...
Wherever they are, I want to wish them all the best...
Whether they are continuing into entertainment industry or other fields...
If they want to patch, under different company, it would be better...
But I can tell that, all of them are very tired, be it physically or mentally...

I think this actually somehow tells people that, before you go for any auditions, look at the details first...
Don't get yourself ended up like H.O.T, DBSK...
Heavy schedules, lesser pay then expected in a year, do more than what you should be doing...
And getting yourself fighting a lawsuit for freedom...
I think that's really a tragedy...
People wanted to be chosen for a certain audition, whether to pursue career or interest, wanted to famous, gain fame...
Somehow, I think that people like them have to be mentally prepared...
Interest like this ofter comes with heavy prices...
It's not that you can't, you can, just to tell yourself, you are prepared...

DBSK signed a 13-year contract...
It has been 5 years plus since they first started...
It's a good thing that they voice out, at least they don't get to suffer anymore...
Another thing I felt quite sad is the brotherhood between them...
From my point of view is that, they like close brothers...
Now they have to be disbanded/separated...
Seriously, I don't know how would they be feeling right now...
As for ChangMin and Yunho, who are staying, it's just puzzled me that they're willing to continue in SM...
For what reason, I do not know...
Of all members, only JaeJoong, Yoochun & JunSu complaint...
The 5 of them are willing to be disbanded so easily, I was just wondering (if at the same time) that the relationship between the 5 has gone worse...
I mean, I hope not, just that too many things had puzzled me...

They are such great singers, even if they're going to be working alone, I think I'll still support them...
Just that all fans around the world have to take some time and 'digest' the fact that they have disbanded, but will still continue to support them...
It's very cruel, but what can we do?
Life is theirs, not ours, we can't choose for them...
I mean, you don't want to see your idol(s) suffering under such conditions, right?
When it's time to let go, let it go...
In the past, there were also numerous boybands/girlbands got disbanded...
Just that, perhaps, DBSK is one of those 'special' cases that they were more outstanding...
I think fans who supported them are like crying for them now...
For a guy who support boybands like them, will be like "WTH", "Darn it"...haha...
I have a friend who did that...
Anyway, DBSK, I wish you all, ALL THE BEST!!!

Got to go le...bye...

Today, I just want to clarify something with whoever is going to read my blog...
In a few months' time, I'll be shifting house...
To be more exact, is down-grading...
Over the years, ever since my family and I had shifted to Sembawang...
Things always do not went as smoothly as we want...
Especially when comes to money/financial needs...
Everyone should know that my father works as a policeman for 20 years...
Because of house financial, he almost lost his job...
The debts that he'd been owing has to be returned by one of our relatives...
In the past, especially my siblings and I, don't know how to spend money wisely...
When comes to housing fees, car taxes, have to go by credit...
All these goes on...

When today my mother said that the person will be coming up to our to photoshoot our house...
And I have to clean up my room...
Because of all these problems, I lost my appetite and end up scolding by my mum for not telling her that I'm not eating so that she can save the effort for cooking my share...
I know I was in a wrong...
Everyone felt that I'm not caring for the family...
I'm too, am stressed up...
How I wished that all things never happened...
I wanted to contribute to this family...
How I wanted to spend sometime with my mother, especially...
Ever since I have entered poly...
I'm becoming even more self-centered...
Which I don't know why...
Not just family...
My friends, my relatives...

WHY ME????!!!!!
Crying by myself now...
No one to talk to...
Listening to DBSK's "Holding Back My Tears"...
Cry out all my emo thoughts...
How I want to hug someone close to cry...

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!
I'm really, very sorry to everyone whom I've upset...
I really don't know what's happening to me...
I don't feel like playing for Rondeau already...
Let work drain me...
It's just sad...