The previous was supposed to be published long, long time ago when my sister was still having her 'O' Levels.
Indeed, even till today, there are still lots of things that I wanted to thank her.
Thank her for all her initiatives for almost all celebrations. (Birthdays, Fathers' Day, Mothers' Day, etc)
She's the planner and the sponsor, while I'm just the helper.

Being that brother, sometimes it's just.... haizzz

So many thanks, yet so many apologies...

Hi Everyone...
Anyway, this is for my sister...
Somehow...I don't know how to say this but...I care for my sister a lot more than any other girl...
Yes...we chatted a lot when comes to a time when we felt that we haven't been chatting for a very long time...
Troubles, sorrows, hatred...
All these were just like a gun/cannon war...non-stop...

Somehow...sometimes...I would feel a bit sorry for her...
She would somehow suffered for some reasons...
And as a brother, sometimes, not being by her side, is just guilty...
There were lots of thanks, but also lots of sorries...
Thanks for all the companion...
Thanks for being by my side...
Sometimes, even really thank you for your examples for this stupid brother of yours...
Somehow, mummy will see your effort and compare with me...

Sorry for sometimes, still fight with you for small, little little things...
I still recalled how we used to fight, really physically fought...
I do still recall my strength of how I used to hit and beat you...
You would also fight back...
I also recall we argued and quarrelled real loud in the house...
Those memories were sometimes funny, but also at the same time, it's really hurtful too...
Also there were lots of things that were being initiated by you...
Birthdays, celebrations...whatever...
I would sometimes felt that I'm always the one being like that, which made me feels that the heart is not with me...
For that, I want to apologise as well...

True, I do had lots of friends whom I know in NP...
But none were close to me...
Problems will always be kept in my heart...
When I speak about my troubles, I would tend to feel that my friends are just listening, and not hearing...
And might thought that I'm attracting attention...
But having a closest sibling won't feel that way...
That's why I want to thank you, sister...
We always had lots of happy chats...lots of sorrow chats as well...

You are in the midst of your 'O' Levels...
Yet I can't help much...
Recalled that last week, you were about to go for your Maths Paper...
You were still studying...you asked for my help...
At first I thought I could help...
In the end, finding myself being stuck, whatever I've learnt had left my memory and I couldn't help much...
For that, I want to apologise...

Now I really see that you've grown up and initiated lots of things...
You even found a job before your 'O' Levels ends...
Mummy used this to compare with me again...
See how initiative you are...
How sensitive you are...
Sometimes, I don't believe in younger siblings surpassing the elder ones...
But how I see an example of it...

好久没有在这里发泄了。
心理有好多郁闷之处。
特别是在找工作方面。

自从被内政部否认之后，
心理一直是很伤感的。
虽然暂时还能以代课老师的工作顶替，但也不能撑太久。

这两个星期，我一向好几个公司与机构发出申请了。
也不知道什么时候才会有消息。

肥肉又跑回来了。
也不知道为什么，心里感觉上已没有任何斗志似的。
我是很想尝试减肥药，但又很怕以后的副作用。

好烦啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

现在刚下起雨，是老天爷在同情我吗？
咳。。。
总之就是两个字 - 郁闷。